PLANNING ADVICE :: How planning a wedding can make or break your relationship

Wedding planning is our passion. There’s really nothing better to do for a living. It makes us tick and drives us to be creative. Over the years we have worked with hundreds of couples from all walks of life envisioning something different for their big day. Whether a couple is envisioning an intimate celebration in a chic downtown setting, a family-style dinner party with two hundred guests, wedding vows that are traditional or throw tradition out the window, walk down the aisle in an elegant fashion or by-the-book casual, we share with them our underlying gem of wisdom :: co-planning your wedding signifies embarking on a totally new adventure together. Make the most of it and enjoy it together. It can strengthen your relationship {or break it}.

Here’s what you can do to make the planning process enjoyable together ::

Divide and conquer. Sounds easy enough, right? When deciding on budget, an overall style and creating your checklist, sit down just the two of you and learn about what’s truly important to your spouse-to-be. Listen. Then let your significant other take the reigns on a few items they’re truly interested in. Let them surprise you with the happy hour menu or the band.

Valley & Co. party in a field

Come together for the big details. Catering tastings, venue decisions and meetings with your planning team are really enjoyable together. It’s such an exciting time and experiencing something new and all about you both together can be fantastic. Think: cake tastings!

Leave something to the imagination. Surprise your fiancé with something you know is important but maybe doesn’t top the priority list.

Be honest about your budget. Whether the bride’s parents are footing the bill, both parents are sharing in the cost or you’re ponying up for your celebration yourselves, be brutally honest about what you want and how you want it. Have a clear understanding of how much you both want to spend and on what.

Let it go. If your groom-to-be must have letter press invitations and it’s not important to you, let it go and sacrifice something not so important to make it happen. If you can’t decide on a color story table it for a few weeks. Listening and compromising is key and something that will be necessary for the rest of your lives!

Valley & Co. party in a field

Photos by Nate Cordova for Valley & Co.

Avoid these pitfalls when co-planning ::

Being too self-centered. While we don’t like the terms “Bridezilla” or “Groomzilla,” they were created for a reason. Don’t become one – be generous, kind to your team of vendors and your family and friends. Never snap at your spouse or lose your patience. If you do, apologize and move onto the next task. Remember that this is a wedding between two and not just your day.

Not being honest. Hiding purchases or decisions can cause a rift between you. Be up front if you love or despise something and always share what’s happening with the planning process.

If you follow these key tips we’re confident you’ll enjoy the planning process and will embark on your wedding adventure on a positive note! Cheers!

 

 

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